God Sets People Free From Eating Disorders
Please read this honest testimony of a woman who has been healed and set free from the death grip of eating disorders.
A.A. – for Heleen
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need, Hebrews 4:16 (KJV).
I needed help. I needed mercy. I needed God’s grace. In my deepest darkest pit, my spirit cried out to God for help. My prayer was simple. My heart sincere. My humble prayer went something like this “Oh Lord, I don’t know what to do with myself, or where to go from here. If You want me somewhere else then please show me. Unless You move me, I will do my best to cope the way I do,
and learn to be content with my lot in life.” This prayer transformed my life. By simply releasing everything to the Lord’s power, a supernatural peace settled within me. With all my destructive coping mechanisms which had entangled me, being able to accept life as it was offered much relief.
My life-altering prayer was prayed approximately 13 years ago. Prior to this point in my life, the doors seemed to open, the path seemed clear. Proverbs 29:18 says “where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he”(KJV). How did my life become lawless, void of
discipline, empty and meaningless?
At the early age of 8, while attending an elementary Christian school I asked Jesus into my life. He blessed my childhood, my family, and the church we had attended. I was baptized and desired to obey the Lord. Sunday School, Pioneer Girls, Bible Studies and Christian fellowship enriched my childhood
years. How did I end up suicidal, depressed, on Prozac, living off of cigarettes and coffee. I was obsessed with losing weight, paranoid of gaining weight, fearful of becoming fat. I tried to avoid food all day long, and any event which involved food. The hypocrite in me would binge at night then vomit
the food. The vomiting would completely exhaust me, shut my mind off, and quicken my sleep.
On the outside my life looked perfect. Just as the world tells us to live. Great family, tall skinny blonde, great career in the fashion industry, model, always dating. I had the newest cell phone, the sports car, clothes, hair and nails. If I wasn’t working, I would be dating, partying, wining and dining.
I’d travel to Toronto to visit the clubs and shop. However, at home I was depressed. I would plan my days off to lament in my despair. My life was out of control. My parents knew the real me. Jesus knew the real me. I could not save myself. I could not stop myself in any aspect. My spiritual life had been quenched to a point of being nonexistent. “But My people did not listen to My voice; And Israel did not obey Me. So I gave them over to the stubbornness of their own heart, to walk in their own devices.” Psalm 81:11-12 (NASB).
Physical struggles often reflect the hidden spiritual struggles. I sunk deeper by the months to the point of suicidal thoughts. My parents brought me to a wise Christian counselor. In his presence, I could only weep. It was as though I had met Jesus. Our sessions together were not frequent (he lived a
couple hours out of town). Our short visits offered much hope and direction. The church I had grown up in, had changed pastors, changed music, lost most of it’s members and eventually renamed itself. In many aspects I felt lost, my support system completely removed. Thankfully scripture would come to
mind. I knew the Lord was ultimately my counselor and friend.
My parents introduced me to the pastor of the church they were attending. I agreed to have the elders pray over me. James 5:14 tells us “Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord”(KJV). I received much
peace through this obedient submission. The dark spiritual oppression hovering over me lifted. I was willing to submit to the Lord’s authority, recognizing I needed help.
Within weeks of my life-altering prayer, the Lord brought me to a new job. This was a miracle. The Lord opened the doors for me to work within a Christian charity. By God’s grace I seemed to slip through the hiring process. Behind closed doors I was hiding my depression, smoking, drinking and bulimic activity. Psalm 34:14 says “turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.” I made a conscious effort to do the right thing. Working Monday to Friday, 9-5, with mature Christians offered a way out of the fashion scene, away from secular society, and a new focus on serving the Lord. This was the hand of the Lord reaching down to pull me out of my pit. Day by day God’s sanctifying grace offered new hope, purpose of life, clarity of my future with Him. Depression lifted, the Prozac gone (the anti-depressant drug didn’t do much for me, I hated the lethargic feeling, the sensations completely physical). My spiritual life began to take shape again. Peace settled in my spirit. I submitted to the Lord’s humble payroll, humbling positions, and tasks. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells
us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” I clung to this verse. The Lord was incredibly faithful. Many days remained very difficult, but like Dr. Charles Stanley wisely says “obey
God and leave all the consequences to Him.” That is what I did.
The broken pieces in my life started to come together. My broken heart started to heal. Physical signs of my regenerated heart began to appear. I could switch to tea instead of drinking coffee. For the first time in years, fruits, vegetables and fish became my “safe foods” (until this point I was a strict vegetarian). A natural desire welled up within me to study the healing benefits of foods. I
stopped “clubbing” and “Kissed Dating Good-Bye” (great book on courtship vs dating). Truly the Lord must receive all the glory for these changes in my life. The Holy Spirit was working within me, changing my nature. God’s truth was slowly freeing me. John 8:31-32 tells us that “if you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” Remain in God’s word, find the truth, and become a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I had reached a point of joyful servitude as a single woman. My focus was on serving the Lord. This was when the Lord brought my husband into my life. Another great miracle from God (I could write a novel on this topic alone!). New hope was restored inside of me. One of the greatest voids which
fed my depression was how to live a fulfilled life as a single person. I had always dreamed of raising a family, it seemed a natural calling in my life. However, I needed to surrender this desire to the Lord and find joy in Him alone. HE truly knows the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
With my husband at my side, our spiritual journey continued to deeper levels. Through prayers, love and support my husband helped me to quit smoking. Again, this was a process. I have now been smoke free for over 5 years! Praise the Lord! This destructive habit followed me for many years. It was extremely difficult for me to quit. My husband and I started fasting together. What started off as secular “juice fast”, quickly became spiritual. Prayer and fasting became my final bondage breaker. My attention was turned to the scriptures where the Bible is filled with prayer and fasting. After reading Jentezen Franklin’s book called “Fasting”, I was inspired and convinced that this was the next step in my journey through sanctification. A natural Christian spiritual discipline. My favorite day of the week has now become my day of rest, prayer and fasting with the Lord. Deeper rest in the Lord has been restored unto me through this. My focus now remains on my spiritual life through the truth of
God’s word, prayer, meditation, and waiting on the Lord. He has the power to heal. “He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit” Titus 3:5 (NASB).
Have you ever asked yourself the question; “if the Lord frees me tonight, what would he freed me to do?” I can testify to you that the Lord freed me to be with Him, to rest in His presence and to worship Him. He freed me to live a humble life of prayer. Colossians 4:2 tells us to “devote yourselves to
prayer, alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving”(NASB). The Lord is truly my Savior, I will forever be grateful to His saving grace in my life. Now, to Him who is able to do exceeding, abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
Resources that helped me
God’s Word, the Bible King James Version& New American Standard Study Bible, with my Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook – Practices That Transform Us, by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
Dr. Charles Stanley, his free “In Touch” magazine, his sermons and wisdom, www.intouch.org
Dr. John Piper, www.desiringgod.org What do you do if you don’t desire God?
resources and sermons.
Fasting, by Jentezen Franklin
The Schwarzbein Principle 2, The Transition – A regeneration process to proven and reverse
accelerated aging, By Diana Schwarzbein, M.D. With Marilyn Brown
I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with us A.A.