I love the weekends! I look forward to them with high expectations of fun, romance, and adventure. My Fridays are filled with anticipation, like opening one of Willie Wonka’s Wonka-bars, hoping to find a “golden ticket” or in my case, a “perfect weekend”.
Weekdays have a tendency to rob me of all my joy. Slaving away to bring in the bacon (turkey bacon of course), and running around like a chicken with its head chopped off can suck the life right out of you. But oh (sigh), then there’s weekends…
People walk around on Fridays with a bounce in their step, strangers greet each other friendly, and cashiers may fill you in on their weekend plans. Bank employees may even offer you doughnuts and coffee on a Saturday morning.
Now that brings me to the problem, actually two problems:
1. I expect way too much from two fairly ordinary days
2. Fun in my dictionary is the same as FOOD
The one is connected to the other. If I try and eat right and exercise on a weekend, I’m already stifling the fun. So, I have to find a back-up plan so the fun can go on. I start looking around at my husband (who of course has his weekend expectations) or a friend (who’s plans didn’t quite include me) or a family member (who thought this weekend is a good time to dump some problems on me).
None of this is helping. Any time now I can find myself wandering through the house (or better yet, the mall), scouting for a glimpse of hope, any indication that this weekend is not going to crush my dreams. Lo and behold, what do I find? Morsels of hope, the true essence of life, the flavor of living, you know it, food.
If there’s one thing I am trying to learn, and I’m asking God to help me with, then it is to not set high expectation on days, people and things.
How many times in my life has this left me devastated and hurt? A far better idea would be to surrender (or at least try and surrender) to God’s plan for my life.
Beth Moore says that God is supposed to be our “mash potatoes” and all these other things and people are just the “gravy” (my translation).
So, it’s great if my weekend actually turns out to be all I ever imagined: A romantic getaway with hubby, laughs with my girls friends, or a great visit with family. However, I have to keep in mind that these things are only the gravy of my life, we all love gravy, but if I don’t get the gravy, I’m okay. I still have the mash, I’m satisfied.
I know, I know I’m making you hungry again! This was not my intention, but I hope you got the picture. If your struggle is food, then you know by now that weekends can be a fierce opponent. The enemy uses all those expectations of fun, laughter and good food to tempt us to throw in the towel.
We will indeed be wise to remember that Food Addiction and Eating Disorders can only be conquered through CONSISTENCY. Two innocent days every week can break that consistency time and time again. Things can actually change for good if we approach weekends prayerfully, with more caution than other days, and with rest and recreation in mind.
Recently I asked myself: Could weekends be the one thing (or one of the things) keeping me from total freedom from overeating? Maybe. I know I have nothing to lose by checking it out. No foothold should be given to the enemy, right?
Maybe a better question on a Friday afternoon would be: What expectations do you have for my weekend Lord? Sounds too holy? Well, I’m going to try anyway. God’s answers tend to surprise me. In fact, in my struggle with food, I’ve found His answers to be much more practical and hands-on that I could have ever imagined. That is of course if I get around to asking Him…
I read a great book recently on this topic: Walking with God by John Eldredge
Love as always
Heleen
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Hi, I am a man, but also struggle with this eating thing, although I think its an intimacy/depression/rejection/fear thing covered up by eating. Anyways, I appreciate the bit about the weekends. I think its especially hard for singles, who need to try and plan out there lives. I like the part about expectations…thats important. But I also believe that to have to low expectations can be debilitating and depressing too. Anyways, thanks for the article, its encouraging. Have you heard of Freedom You or Setting Captives Free and their Lord’s Table program? Another idea I had was that not focusing on one’s self can help in defeating these things I believe…Thanks again, Robert
Hi Robert
Thank you for your comment. I am actually very familiar with Setting Captives Free and their amazing free resources. In fact I posted it on my website http://www.SurrenderedHearts.com as a resource (see my “favorite websites and blogs” page) and I recommend it often to people. Thank you for mentioning it though:)
I’m hoping to one day expand this ministry to have a section devoted to men, and also teenagers. The need for help in this area is tremendous, but I’m excited to see that God is raising up an awareness and more resources around the world to help people overcome food struggles.
May God bless you and help you find answers as you walk out your journey of finding freedom.
Heleen
Weekends are such a problem for me! I do so good through the week. I’m focused and motivated and feel so close to God. The weekend comes around and I am hopeful and determined. This will be the weekend that I get through without falling! But, time and time again I fall. Not just a little either. I have never been a stumbler, I am a plunger! Why can’t I keep it together on the weekend? This is supposed to be a joyful time that I can spend with my husband and son. I haven’t even been going to church, because I’m so depressed by Sunday, that I can’t leave the house. I want to keep being hopeful, but I am so sick of falling…I have even found myself dreading the weekend.
Larisa, I’m praying that God will help you with weekends and that those two days will just become normal days for you where you can get through your weak moments and as a result get through the weekend victorious. You may also want to read my post on Getting through your weak moments
In His Love
Heleen