Having lived a little on this old planet of us, I have to say that things are never as they seem. There is always something hidden under the surface, especially when it comes to people. If you really want to see, you have to look hard, have a compassionate heart and be prepared to be shocked. Nobody knows this better than counselors. It’s our job to pry, look deeper, and find out what’s really going on in order to help people deal with the actual problem not just the symptoms.
So why am I surprised to find things hidden in the corners of my heart? I have found that these hidden things, those things I even hide from myself, will come out one way or another.
The first way, and unfortunately the road most traveled in my life, is when something triggers it: My children’s sibling rivalry can poke at it, neglect from my husband can give it a stab, or a friend’s hurtful comment can plug it wide open. Things come pouring out of me that I had no idea I had in me. It always leaves me shocked and puzzled, as if I had no idea that there was anything more to me than just the outside happy face I put on.
Max Lucado wrote in one of his amazing chidren’s books about a boy who comes into the King’s presence and the King removes all the things that cling to him: The stars (the compliments and praises of people) as well as the dots (the rejections and hurtful things said by people). The King then reminds him of who he is, without all the false pride or insecurities.
Now this brings me to the second way to get to the truth, the best way by far, yet the one I often “forget” to take.
Just this morning I experienced it so vividly:. I got up feeling a little “down”, nothing serious, something I could easily shake once I start home schooling and working. I knew that I have vowed to start my days with God this year, but this morning I was hesitant. I was staring at the carpet in my living room where I usually pray. Something was holding me back (as if I don’t know who by now).
Finally, with a deep sigh, I buckled my knees before the King of Kings, and you know it… I started bawling. Deep sorrow poured out of my soul onto the carpet. Where did this come from Lord? What am I hiding? He told me, He held me, and He healed me in that place… I got up from that carpet and what you saw was truly what you got… I wasn’t hiding any pain, I didn’t want to eat two bagels for breakfast anymore, I didn’t yell at my kids, and I felt a deep sigh of joy escaping my lips…
Oh, if I can only learn that even though I feel alright, something might be lurking and it is always worth checking it out.