Looking for Trouble?

Everybody knows that one should not go “looking for trouble”. However, if you’re struggling with food addiction, or any addiction for that matter, it might not be such a bad idea. You need to become a regular detective and have your ear on the ground for the slightest rumbling of trouble in your heart.

This past Easter weekend I detected some trouble and fortunately found it before it found me. None the less, it still scared me, and it was a sure reminder that I desperately need God. In fact, I will probably always need Him in this area of my life, something I’m starting to see as a blessing in disguise.

To get to the trouble, I feel that I should first give you an update on the previous few months of 2009: It’s actually been a very good year as far as my struggle with food is concerned. I have remained steady. I have been consistently doing things that really matter, ignoring the things that don’t matter so much, and I’ve been letting go of the notion of perfection (for the most part). It’s been a year of freedom, some weight loss and plenty of spiritual breakthroughs. Of course you know better than to believe that I didn’t have my share of down days, trials and battles, you ladies have after all been reading my blogs!

However, I didn’t experience any slip-ups or downward spirals. I was truly singing the song of the redeemed. Now, don’t worry, I’m still singing, but this weekend I got a wake-up call, something we probably need every now and then.

It started with financial pressure. I know that many of you can relate. My husband didn’t loose his job, but there were some pay cuts and our online businesses are suffering. In comparison to many friends and family members, we have it easy though, and I am seriously counting every blessing. However, like many others, we too had to face reality and change our lifestyle, and it’s taking it’s toll. So this weekend started with our family having communion together, surrounded by God’s amazing love on Good Friday, and it ended with stress and heated discussions by Easter Sunday.

Of course I knew what to do: It was Easter Sunday, what better day to grab onto the life of Jesus that He so graciously extended to us? Church was great, but inside of me there was trouble brewing. When we came home from church, I wanted to watch a movie, I didn’t want to talk, I didn’t want to go anywhere, I didn’t want to cry (although I sure needed it), I didn’t want to talk to God and I wanted a second and a third helping of desert… mmm…. trouble…

My own personal journey to freedom taught me a few things: If I smell trouble, there’s trouble. If I keep it in, it will grow. If I keep quiet about it long enough, it will blow up in my face. Most importantly, if trouble comes knocking, I don’t really know what I need at all, and what I want is definitely not what I need.

So I had a very long phone conversation with a friend (crying and the works). I dragged my husband out in the rain to go for a walk-and-talk (mainly me talking). Afterward I took a bath and talked some more to God. I talked and talked, the thing I didn’t want to do, until my head cleared and I stopped making a list in my mind of things I wanted to binge on!

It’s not easy to struggle with food, but as the years pass and you keep giving it back to God things change. You start to smell trouble a mile away, but most importantly, you know what to do, you have tools, you have support, you have the Holy Spirit and you get through it quickly so life can go on.

However, to get to that place, you need to start the journey to freedom and healing. It takes time, but no more time that you might have wasted going around and around with this addiction. An addiction, such as food addiction, steals your life, it robs you from relationships and it reduces you to only a fraction of who you really are.

Please hear this today: You are so much more than this eating disorder. My 12 Week Online Course for women struggling with food can get you started on your own personal journey to freedom. Come have a look and see if this course is a good fit for you, if you are ready to stop bulimia or stop overeating for good.

From an Ex Food Addict who understands all too well.