Hanging with the Girls

I have a confession to make: I don’t do well in groups and for this reason I tend to avoid “girly gatherings”. Make no mistake, I want to hang with the girls, I do in fact hang with the girls, but I’m always sort of … awkward.

I had an opportunity to spend time this past weekend with some of my amazing girl friends. We attended a simulcast of Beth Moore on her latest book “So long Insecurity”. It was wonderful, the Spirit of God was moving and I was so grateful that I’ve pressed through my “awkward problem” to be part of what God was doing in the hearts of thousands of women in that specific moment in time.

In fact, the only reason I did not make some kind of excuse was because I hoped and prayed that Beth might shed some light (as the title of her book indicated) on my little problem. It turns out my problem was not so little or so peculiar after all: Over 300 000 women showed up across North America to listen to Beth’s message on how to get rid of insecurity

I’ve already written a little about her book and how much it blessed me in a previous post, but something stood out to me: Insecurity has wormed itself into so many areas of our lives that we’re not even aware of. Not only is it my INSECURITIES that makes me feel awkward and as a result act quirky when I find myself in a bigger group of women, but it follows me around like a shadow. So I need to find ways to correct my vision ALL THE TIME: Taking my focus off myself and putting it back on Jesus, where it belongs.

Beth came through with a few practical points that I meant to share with all of you. She taught from Ephesians 4: 17-28

She started by saying this:

INSECURITY IS NOT THE SAME AS HUMILITY

INSECURITY IS NOT A  “WEAKNESS”

INSECURITY IS UNBELIEF!

A Secure woman is…

1. Saved from herself
She doesn’t have to “find her place in a space” (Think of how I try to figure out where I fit in at a women’s gathering, and end up feeling awkward) She goes into a situation PREPARED, knowing ahead of time who she is in Christ.

2. Entitled to Truth
A secure woman refuses to believe the lies of the enemy and the world around her. One of the lies of  our society that Beth mentioned: “To be valuable is to be sensual or at least desirable”
I also believe many of us are sold on the lie that “I have to meet certain standards/please certain people/accomplish certain goals in order to feel good about myself and be acceptable”
THE TRUTH: No career, no degree, no husband, no amount of fame, and no amount of money can make you secure. SECURITY IS ONLY FOUND IN FALLING DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH JESUS AND KNOWING EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE IN HIM!

3. Clothed with Intention
Proverbs 31:25 speaks of the strength and dignity that a secure woman of God is clothed with. There is not accidental way for this to happen. We have to intentionally, daily put on the dignity and put off the insecurity. Some of us (including yours truly) might have to do it more than once a day, hey maybe even hourly.

4. Upended by Grace
Beth said: “People who REALLY BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN HAVE GRACE FOR OTHERS” A secure woman is not easily offended and she always forgives. Not because she’s some kind of “super-woman” but because she wants to live free from hatred and bitterness, and she has truly accepted God’s forgiveness for her. Grace is a gift that we ought to accept for ourselves and give away freely to others. Without it we can wallow in our insecurity forever.

5. Rebounded by Love
WE NEED TO BE CONVINCED THAT JESUS LOVES US to truly love others. His Love for us is real, He died for us and He tells us how much He loves us in the Bible. However, WE HAVE TO ACCEPT IT BY FAITH until it penetrates our hearts. It’s only through that Agape love that we can stop the envy, jealousy, and competitive spirit that thrives among insecure women. Secure women love even their enemies.

6. Exceptional in Life
Secure women are an endangered species in our society. Beth speculated about what could happen if  Christian women can stop focusing on themselves (also those of us with a low self esteem) and clothe themselves with strength and dignity daily. Can you imagine? We can be exceptional in every area of life. We can be the exception to every rule and every label the world has created.

I was inspired to get up and start putting on dignity and strength daily. I dare you to open your eyes to any insecurity that might be lurking in your life. Pay special attention to what it has cost you in ministry and in life.

Most of us have reasons for our insecurity. Instability in your home, a significant loss, a dramatic change in your life, or personal disposition and limitation could have caused you to be insecure.

But what ever caused it, you don’t have to stay like that. Whatever or whoever broke your heart, God is in the business of healing broken hearts. Beth said something about this that stood out to me “If a heart doesn’t heal it hardens”

Maybe you already have a hard heart. I have good news for you: Jesus can break the wall that you have build around your heart to protect yourself from further hurt  and bring healing to those deep wounds you’ve hid from the world.

SECURITY IS ONLY FOUND IN JESUS!

I came to realize that although I might have won many battles in allowing the Holy Spirit to renew my mind, there is always more work to be done. So I will be printing out the prayers in Beth’s book,  and writing down the Scripture verses on note cards to memorize.

Victory over the lies of the enemy happens in the everyday moments of our lives:
It happens when I’m looking at a picture of myself and the enemy presents the lie “Just look at you!”  or when I’m walking into a room of strangers and he whispers “What will they think of you?” In that moment I have to CHOOSE to win the battle by refuting the lie with the truth: “I’m a daughter of the King, fearfully and wonderfully made by my Father. I’m the bride of Christ and He loves me with an everlasting love”

Would you please join me in shaking off the denial, admitting that there is a problem, and becoming part of the solution, for our generation and also for all the little girls who will follow us.

Love you ladies!

Heleen

PS: It would be great to talk more about this subject on the forum and encourage each other to identify and uproot the insecurity in our lives.

My 12 Week Online Program for Women struggling with Food might be an option for you if you need help to break free from Food Addiction and also deal with deep seated insecurities. Please have a look at it, your life matters to God. He is waiting to heal you and help you clear up the “brain fog” so you can enjoy life again.

If you are not a member you might be interested to click here for my FREE EBOOK: “God will I ever be free?”
Click here if you want more information on becoming a member:  12 Week Online Program for women who struggle with eating disorders and food addiction