People Pleasing links to Overeating!

Learn how People Pleasing can pack on the pounds

By Heleen Woest

Have you made the connection yet? Let me assure you that there is a link between eating disorders and people pleasing. I've read about this, listened to other ladies talk about it, and I experienced firsthand the dangerous connection between people pleasing and overeating.

There are so much pressure on women: We are expected to be super-moms, top chefs, dazzling wives, devoted friends, career women, and of course, actively involved in ministry! The truth is that very few of us can pull this off, and the ones who try usually get themselves in a lot of trouble. It is impossible to be all these things and still be in touch with yourself.

We usually try and wear all of the above hats in order to keep other people happy or to impress them with our amazing abilities. The big problem: God never meant for us to please other people, in fact Paul clearly says that if he was still trying to gain the favor of men, he could not be a servant of God (Gal1:10)

After years of trying to please others and be everything for everyone, I think I can honestly say that it's never worth it to give up your own interests and personality to please another person. Yet, as moms and wives our lives get so entwined with the lives of our families that we tend to forget who we are altogether. People pleasing is a bad habit that can easily spill over into our friendships, jobs and churches.

To get rid of people pleasing in your life will not be easy, but it is necessary if you want to break free from the addiction that usually accompanies it. To live so disconnected from yourself and God's purpose over your life can cause a great deal of pain, and this pain needs an outlet. In my case food addiction and eating disorders became that outlet. To stay focused on binging, purging and weight loss relieved some of the pain for me. This is true for many ladies who struggle with food issues such as compulsive overeating.

To find freedom you must be willing to become a person of truth. The Bible says in John 8:32 that we will know the truth, and the truth will set us free. Once you let the truth of God's Word into your life, start to admit the truth to yourself, and start to tell others the truth about you, freedom will come.

Maybe you don't even realize that you're living a lie. I never thought I was untruthful when I agreed to do something for someone that would harm me or hurt my family. Saying NO just because it's not convenient was unthinkable for me, and I didn't believe I had the right to ever ask anything for myself. I know there's a fine line between having boundaries and becoming selfish, but for most women with eating disorders the only "selfish" thing they have done in years is sneaking chocolates and cookies. Food can become a drug, something to numb the fact that our true needs simply don't matter.

I remember how horrible I felt when I tried to diet. I remember thinking to myself: "I don't want to do this, food is the best thing in my life, why would I want to give it up?" How could it be that food became the best thing in my life? I have a wonderful husband, and four amazing kids, and I was appalled that I could even think something like that, but this sad existence was truly my life.  The problem was that I forgot who I was, I rarely did anything for me, and I was trying to please and control the lives of everybody around me. It is exhausting and it is both shocking and painful to have no answer every time someone asks you "What is it that you want?

I have written a course for women struggling with food and devoted one whole week to this very important matter of People Pleasing. There is no way around it. If you want to break free from your eating disorder there are certain steps you have to take and this is one of them. God has a blue print for our freedom, it's in His Word and He gave us the Holy Spirit to help us every step of the way. Please come find out how you can start moving out of the pit of People Pleasing and Food Addiction today. 

Author: Heleen Woest
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