Week 6 A
A HEALTHY SELF IMAGE
My dear friend,
Can you believe we are at the half-way mark?
I pray that this program has blessed you so far and that God will keep transforming you into the princess you are. Today we are going to talk about the princess I’m referring to (you), and how it happened that she stopped wearing her garment of praise.
But first, as always would would you be so kind as to check off the following things that we previously dealt with, in order for you to get an idea of how you’re doing. If you have not made any progress in these areas it might be a good idea to ask for prayer by sending me an email or posting on our Members Forum. You might also look into counseling, or support from a friend or pastor to speed up your healing.
- Did you complete your 40 days?
Congratulations if you did – You made it girl! Please let me know what you have experienced and what God did for you during this time. IMPORTANT: Please don’t feel discouraged if you didn’t make it all the way through the 40 days. You can always do it again, starting today. I have done it a few times in my life, especially if I just wanted to clean my life and my body again, and it was always so worth it. So another 40 days of warfare and surrendering to God is just as far away as you want it to be. - How are you doing with laying down your love for food and other idols? Even if you just lay down one addictive food at a time it is a huge victory over the enemy.
- Are you working on your relationship with God by spending some time with Him, even if it’s just a few minutes a day?
- Do you remember to daily refute the enemy’s lies with the truth? (note cards)
- Have you seen a doctor and did you sign-up for a food plan yet?
- How are you doing with letting go of:
Fad diets?
Dangerous methods?
Addictive foods? - How are you doing with figuring out a way for you to get exercise into your life? Did you put it in place yet?
Most Women with eating disorders struggle with their self image.
They know something is wrong, but they don’t know what exactly, and they don’t know how to change it.
They just know that they feel horrible about themselves and have huge issues with insecurity.
God made us wonderful and unique and he wants us to view ourselves as he does, but unfortunately, after years of living with our idol and focusing on our bodies and food, we have drowned out the voice of the Holy Spirit. We now only hear the loud voice of Satan, the media and the world around us. All off this has severally distorted the way we see ourselves.
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Signs of a distorted Self Image:
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Please join me on a quest to find out how our self image got so distorted and how we can change the way we view ourselves
Question: Why do I feel so bad about myself?
Please do not for one minute think that you are alone in this: Every other woman on this planet struggles with insecurities!
Some hide it well, others deny it, but we all wear this cloak of shame at one point or another. I am always surprised to hear words of insecurity spill from the mouth of a lady that I “looked up to” because of her “perfect figure” and unwavering self confidence. Confidence in self and outward things such as beauty, weight, and appearance can not last. So many of these ladies that seem to have it all together and seem to be “on top of the world” have deep seated insecurities, just like the rest of us.
I want to go a little further to say that someone who seems to have the PERFECT life, body, house, children, and marriage might be hiding a very empty and broken heart.
Proverbs 31:30 (NIV): Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Please picture the following scenario with me:
Picture yourself entering a room where a bunch of pretty young women, all with cute outfits, designer shoes and matching purses; their hair all sun streaked and beautifully done by “Jean-Pierre from downtown”. They talk about massages and the latest fashion. You have nothing to contribute, because you’ve lost touch with all of this. You’re not much older than they are, but you feel fat, a million years old, and self conscience about your stretch jeans, big t-shirt and last summer’s pedicure. You sit there as quiet as a mouse, afraid to move, trying to hide your toes. You feel terrible about yourself!
You envy them with a passion.
Sounds like a nightmare ?
Now consider yourself walking into a restaurant where you meet a bunch of ladies. You notice that you are the youngest, the skinniest and probably the prettiest. They are all wearing sweats, while you can still fit into a pair of stretch jeans. You have last summer’s pedicure, but you’re the only one who dares to show her toes anyway. You greet them all with a hug; you are confident; you talk and laugh; you are the star of the night.
You feel great about yourself!
They envy you with a passion.
Sounds like a dream?
Interesting isn’t it: THE SAME WOMAN – DIFFERENT LEVELS OF CONFIDENCE
ANSWER: Your Image of yourself is distorted by the following LIES:
Satan’s Lies
LIE #1 : You are guilty and shameful
Satan has a strategy that has worked for years: GUILT AND SHAME
He knows that if he can get you to believe that you are guilty and shameful, you will be haunted by a distorted self image and live a miserable life.
HAVE A LOOK AT THIS VERSE:
Romans 8:1 (Amplified Bible)
Therefore, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.
Important: Condemnation is that guilt and shame we feel, after we have repented from our sin.
It is CONDEMNATION that the enemy loads on us.
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Have you experienced the following:
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What is going on? Why do we feel so ashamed and so guilty? Are we guilty?
The answer is NO – we’re not guilty – Jesus died for our sin and if we confess our sin and ask for his forgiveness, we GO FREE, without any more guilt or shame.
Have a look at Isaiah 53:5 in the Amplified Bible:
But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.
We feel so ashamed and guilty because we believe the enemy who tells us constantly, every day, at every opportunity that we are guilty: Guilty of failure, guilty of past sins, and guilty of not measuring up.
LIE #2 : You must have done something to deserve abuse
Many ladies who suffer from eating disorders have been verbally, physically, or sexually abused as children. The enemy will use situations from their past to load false guilt on them:
- Satan will tell a woman that already suffered so deeply that she is somehow to blame for what happened to her.
- He tells a woman who was abandoned as a little child that she was unlovable and that no one will ever love her
- He tells a woman whose husband cheated on her that she is to blame for his infidelity; that somehow she fell short in pleasing her husband.
- He tells a woman whose husband left her for another man that her body must be so hideous that it gave her husband a disgust in women.
- He tells a woman who endured physical abuse as a child that she was so bad that she deserved it, and that she still deserves to be punished.
- He tells a woman whose parents got divorced when she was just a child that she was responsible for there break-up
- He tells a woman who was born out of wedlock that nobody wanted her, that she was just a burden, and that no one will ever want her.
Have you heard some of these lies?
Please let me assure you: YOU ARE NOT GUILTY – YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SIN OF OTHERS
If someone else hurt you as a child and sinned against you, then you desperately need Jesus’ healing power. If a spouse sinned against you and your heart is broken, then you are NOT GUILTY, you need Jesus who came to heal the broken hearted.
The enemy’s plan here is to keep you in false guilt and shame, so that you will feel that you don’t deserve God’s love. This way you don’t come closer to the only One who can truly heal you and give you a new life.
LIE #3 : You should be suspicious and fearful of other women:
Have you noticed how Satan plays women against each other?
Do you realized that he is again distorting something beautiful God made?
God gave us sisters and friends as allies against the enemy and He tells us to love one another and bear each other’s burden with Agape love that comes from Him. This love includes trust and drives out all fear (1 Corinthians 13)
The enemy must know that women can motivate each other to shine forth the Glory of God. This is why he whispers lies in our ears that causes us to view other women as enemies. Instead of love we are filled with fear and distrust towards each other.
So every woman that’s THINNER, prettier, smarter, taller, quieter, more spontaneous, more talented, more successful, or frankly more anything than you, becomes your enemy:
Satan whispers:
She’s out to steal your man!
She’s out to get your job!
She’s wants to ruin your life.
She has some ulterior motive for giving to you.
Unfortunately the enemy also sets the stage for the above abominations to actually happen; supplying him with enough ammunition in his war against us.
This is how he does it:
Women who feel insecure, envy and fear other women. In return, fear and envy, if not taken captive and weighed against the truth of God’s word, can cause them to strike out and hurt their own sisters and best friends. What started as a thought now gave birth to sin: Gossip, cheating, lying, and back-stabbing.
And then of course the enemy uses women who chose to turn their backs on God. These women have become callous towards sin and play in the hand of Satan. But they forget that there is a God who sees them, who fights on our behalf and who will avenge us.
Do you see Satan’s Master Plan?
If he can get me and you to feel insecure and as a result stop loving and trusting one another, we can injure each other, regardless of our intentions to NEVER hurt a fellow sister in this way.
and then…
If you fell victim to the sin of a sister or a friend, and you refuse to forgive her, you are on dangerous ground. Bitterness can make you paranoid: Fearing and suspecting every woman, and as a result striking out and hurting another lady in a similar fashion. Research has shown that people who were scarred in life, and have not received healing, become perpetrators themselves.
Do you see Satan’s cycle of destruction?
We have to intercept the cycle by resisting the enemy’s lies of distrust and fear, and instead chase hard after Godly Agape Love (which includes trust) towards one another. Building each other up, encouraging each other to follow our dreams and to shine in a way that attracts other women, not make them envious.
LIE #4 : You can not possibly come to God in your filthy state
We believe Satan’s lie that before we didn’t accumulate some value through appearance and performance we are not allowed close to God, or we might have a certain part of Him but the real good gifts are for the beautiful people.
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I DARE YOU TO START DOING THE OPPOSITE:
WILL YOU COME TO HIM, TODAY, JUST AS YOU ARE… |
Lies of the World
LIE #1 : You have to achieve high standards of excellence to have value
We refuse our body the proper sleep and rest that it needs.
We have decided early on that if we can not get our value from being thin and beautiful , then we will have to just work our way around it, but we will somehow be valuable.
So we become dutiful and hardworking beyond the point of normal human strength. We see others taking naps, sitting down for a meal, relaxing with their guests instead of working their fingers to the bone, and we envy them.
We wish we could rest, but we have to keep working, serving, entertaining and baking, so that nobody will think we are fat, lazy slobs.
We believe the lie that we have to achieve value in the eyes of the world through our high standards and our constant business. If we bought into this lie, then we have really just found another crutch.
Our real value lies in the fact that we are children of God, nothing else:
Stop believing the lie that you have to meet certain standards before you have value.
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A REVOLUTIONARY THOUGHT: YOU ARE VALUABLE TO GOD, EVEN IF YOU DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Think about it…
GOD IS NOT IMPRESS WITH YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS: |
LIE #2 : People who fail are unworthy of Love and Respect
The world doesn’t have time for “losers”. If you fail you’re out! It’s survival of the toughest, the prettiest, the smartest and of course, the skinniest.
We buy into this lie that failure dooms us to a life of misery and loneliness. We can not forgive ourselves for our failures and we believe the lie that we can not expect any one else to love or respect us ever again.
The truth is that Jesus died for our failures, and the moment we repent, He forgives us, and we are made WORTHY again.
Every time you make a mistake the Father looks at you and say; “It’s no big deal my child, everyone makes mistakes, you’re learning”
Every time you sin and you feel the sorrow of your own failure wash over you, Jesus holds out his nail scared hands to you and say “Turn your back on this, repent and accept my forgiveness. I already paid the price. You can be white as snow again, today”
Every time your head hang low because of your own human frailty and fallible nature, the Father puts his finger under you chin and says “Look up my child, I am the lifter of your head, I am the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End, and you belong to me”
LIES IN THE MEDIA
LIE #1 : You need to be thin and beautiful to have value
We see pictures in magazines and on TV of women with perfect bodies and perfect faces. This makes us dissatisfied with our own bodies and we start to desire those perfect images.
Magazine pictures are in fact unattainable for the simple reason that it is not reality: These pictures are airbrushed and computer modified.
The skinny bodies we see in TV shows can usually only be obtained through dangerous methods such as eating disorders and vigorous exercise. No wonder so many girls and women throw themselves into the hands of these dangerous methods – they will rather be dead than fat.
Did you know?
20 years ago fashion models weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less.
The fashion industry is totally out of touch with the average woman:
50% of women wear size 14 or larger, but most standard clothing outlets cater to sizes 14 or smaller.
Research shows that most women complain of feeling inadequate, insecure and depressed after watching Fashion Shows or TV programs.
Does the following scenario seem familiar to you?
You start watching a movie where the main character, miss Wonderful, is a slender, sexy blond.
She has everything anyone could ever want: She has the man of her dreams slobbering all over her, she lives in a mansion and drives a sport car. She is popular, smart, funny and she is an impressive career woman.
She has no children, no financial problems, no dirty laundry, no acne and definitely no PMS. She makes you sick with envy: You hate your life!
Your mind starts to drift to food; what can you eat to numb this pain of dissatisfaction and inadequacy?
Then, as if someone in the marketing industry could hear your thoughts; a commercial break.
The screen starts dripping with thick, luscious chocolate. Another miss Perfect slip a perfect square of chocolate in between her red Botox lips and whisper to you that chocolate will make all your dreams come true.
You run to the kitchen and discover your secret stash – a pack of old peanut M&M’s behind the frozen veggies. You also grab some ice cream and graham crackers. You arrive just in time to see miss Wonderful zip up her tiny mini skirt: She looks so great! You sigh, then shove a handful of M&M’s in your mouth and swallow it down with tears of failure.
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TIP: DID YOU KNOW: There is a proven link between Watching TV and obesity. TV watching is also linked with certain eating disorders such as Binge Eating Disorder. Please read this post on my blog if you watch a lot of TV:
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LIE #2 : You can only be happy and successful if you have the perfect body and face
The media paints this fantasy that a thin, beautiful woman simply has to be incredibly happy and extremely successful.
It is simply not true: Love, success and joy has absolutely nothing to do with how we look on the outside. Yet, this false portrayal makes anyone who doesn’t fit that profile (most women) feel inadequate and unhappy with their “lot” in life. They will do anything to change their outward appearance, hoping that it will also bring them love, success and happiness.
Little girls have picked up on this: elementary school girls are on diets to be skinny and successful, they too got the distorted message that FAT=BAD
The reality is that those models and actors that we so admire are usually very unhappy. They have to punish themselves with starvation, exhausting workout regimes and plastic surgery to get the “perfect” look.
When is a woman truly happy and beautiful?
Only, when she radiates the glory and peace of God.
We were made to worship Him, by fulfilling our purpose and calling on this earth. One of the things we as women are called to do, is to have children. Our bodies are made by God to store fat for a developing child.
Did you know?
If female mannequins were real women they would be too thin to have babies. These are the mannequins that we admire when choosing an outfit. We then lament that nothing can possibly look good on our fat body. We never stop to think that we might not be at fault here.
Off course I’m not saying we should all just give up and eat ourselves to death. God does expect us to take care of our bodies and healthy bodies certainly gives us more confidence and zeal for life. However, I can’t help wondering how many woman would never have struggled with food, if the media didn’t turn the human body into an idol, and made us all join the rat race to sculpt the perfect body.
The irony: God already made perfect bodies – and he gave us each one – unique in every way, shape and form.
LIE #3 : Only a perfect, thin body is worthy of pampering and pretty things
We always tend to wait with anything good to give to ourselves or our bodies until we are thin and have value in our own eyes and the eyes of the world.
We refuse to buy this overweight body clothes or take care of ourselves. We don’t shave our legs and don’t put lotion on our arms. We haven’t had a manicure or pedicure in years. We say that it’s a waste of time, that we’re too busy, and that other women who do these things are simply vain.
But we know that we are waiting… Waiting for our body to get thin, waiting to become valuable.
The truth is: Through this behavior we keep on telling ourselves we are not good enough.
We never live in the present.
We are always putting everything off until the day that we lose some weight. We will one day be beautiful and then we will have a better life. We are like that caterpillar in A Bugs life that kept on saying “One day I will be a beautiful butterfly and then everything will be better”
Here’s the thing, you can wait your whole life to start living, and then in the end, if you find what you were looking for, you might be disappointed to find that your still the same person on the inside, with all the same hang-ups and fears.
On this journey you want to start feeding your body the best food: Healthy and delicious food. Think about how many times you ate anything to calm your pain, even things you don’t like. How many times have you just inhaled sugary, fatty food without even tasting it? It’s time to be good to your body.
Look at food and ask yourself if this is really the best food for you, consider nutrition and taste, consider the fact that you are a princess. How does princesses eat?
And for that matter, how do you feed people you care about, for instance you children? Of course you pick food that they will love and actually want to eat, but you also think about what is best for their bodies. Why is it that we can not treat ourselves in that way? Why do think that we are not worthy of care?
Start today by dressing yourself in beautiful garments Princess. Your Father is the King and you deserve all the beauty around you that He created!
How do I change the way I see myself?
First of all: We have to drown out the lying voices ON PURPOSE!
It is important to stand against every lie that is imbedded in your heart and mind with the truth of GOD’S WORD. If you start to read the truth daily, you will not only recognize the lie when it’s presented to you, but you will start to rebuild your faith in the truth of God’s Word.
Have a look at this verse in Romans 10:17 (NIV)
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
DID YOU KNOW? YOUR ARE A CREATION OF GOD AND YOU ARE AWESOME AND WONDERFULLY MADE.
Psalms 139:13-14 (NIV):
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY, YOU ARE GOD’S CREATION AND HE MADE YOU WONDERFUL. YOU WERE NO ACCIDENT! GOD PLANNED FOR YOU TO BE HERE.
So what does the Word of God have to say about our Self Image?
In Romans 12:3 (NIV) Paul tells us:
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
This means to be realistic in the way we think of ourselves – neither too high, nor too low
- The Search for a Healthy Self Image is actually a search for our own purpose and meaning on this earth.
- There is only one way to find the purpose of any creation : Ask the Creator
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Important: To find a healthy and Godly way to view yourself basically comes down to keep walking out this journey you’re on right now:
All of this will lead you to a place where you will fall in love with the Lover of your soul, find your purpose, and accept that you are beautifully and wonderfully made by God.
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So keep walking dear woman of God – You’re on the right track!
As you move closer to God, you are moving further away from the lies about your body and appearance.
Are you beginning to recognize the truth: You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the God of all creation.
Click here to go to the next section: “How this helped me”
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