Week 7 C
Guidelines and Assignments for you
For best results:
Do these assignments on the last 5 days of Week 7 after you’ve read through the material in section A and B
DAY 1
Let’s look back together
Be brave dear woman of God. I know you can do it, and I know God will keep you safe and not give you too much to chew at once.
REMEMBER: You’re not doing this to find someone to blame. The goal of this exercise is solely to help you find the truth in your past in order to overcome obstacles that stand between you and freedom from eating disorders.
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IMPORTANT:
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Start by answering these questions in your journal. Don’t rush it. You might not be sure about some of the answers right now, so take the rest of this week, or as long as you need to think and pray about it.
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Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discover truths about the pain in your past, and the lies that kept that pain alive. When you feel Him stir something in your heart, please don’t ignore it, try and find some time alone to talk it through with your Heavenly Father. 1. List some things about your Mom which you are grateful for. Thank God for those things, others have grow up without a mother or didn’t have any positive experiences. 2. Now list the things between you and your mom that you regret or that you wish could be different. Talk to God about these and be honest with Him about where you’re at in the process of forgiveness and letting it go. 3. Think about your relationship with your mom when you were a child. Did you get any negative messages about her attitude towards food and her body? 4. Describe your relationship with your mom today. 5. Have you created a perfect mom in your mind? Has your mom lived up to this expectation? 6. Have you tried to be the perfect daughter? Do you realize now that it’s only an illusion that you’ve been chasing? What did it cost you? 7. Do you feel angry with your mom? Have you ever been able to tell her how you feel without getting into a huge argument? 8. Do you think that you’ve honored your mom? Have you felt that you were dishonoring her when you told her about your feelings in the past? 9. Are you holding grudges against you mom? 10. Do you suffer from a broken heart due to your mom’s actions? 11. Did you feel that your mom abandoned you when you were a kid? How did this impact your life? 12. Was your mom always sick or did she have a lot of problems that kept her away from you? 13. Could you ever be honest with your mom about your true emotions without her falling apart or getting really angry? 14. Did your mom try and control everything in your life? Do you feel that your eating disorder gives you some control over your own life? 15. Did your mom only accept the “good” part of your personality? Did that leave you trying to always be the perfect daughter? 16. Have you been able to separate from your mom as a teenager? Do you know who you are, what you like and what your talents are? 17. Have you been unable to say no to your mom or tell her what you really need? Is it difficult for you to say no to anybody? 18. Did you always try and please your mom? Do you feel guilty if you ask for anything or stand up for yourself? 19. Did your mom judge others on their appearance, and do you also struggle with prejudice in this area? 20. Do you depend on your mom to help you make decisions? 21. Do you talk to God via your mom?
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Please reach out for help if this is too overwhelming for you!
PLEASE STOP! DON’T GO ANY FURTHER TODAY!
To get the most out of this course, please apply it to your life in the bite-size pieces that I recommend. Take AS LONG AS YOU NEED, but be sure to take at least ONE DAY.
DAY 2
Forgive your Mom
We usually don’t have such a hard time forgiving our Moms once we realize that we were angry with them in the first place. Yet, some things go really deep and we can not for the life of us think how they could have let these things happen, or how they could not protect us as mothers should.
So do we just let the person who hurt us off the hook?
I believe that God will personally avenge things that people have done to us that broke our hearts, especially things done to little kids.
Have a look at this verse: Matthew 18:7 (NIV) Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
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We need to forgive, not to let our perpetrator off the hook, but for the following reasons:
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2 Corinthians 2:10-11 (NIV)
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
I want to remind you of a certain note card we made in Week 2 when we spoke briefly about forgiveness. Have a look at this note card again, and be sure to make one if you haven’t done so yet.
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I repent of any sin in my life that might GRIEVE you HOLY SPIRIT
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you – Ephesians 4:30-32 (AMP)
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins |
Believe me, the last thing I want to do is pretend that to forgive is just a matter of doing it and it’s done. I realize that for some people this is an extremely difficult thing to do, and you might be one of those ladies who have been so wounded that you’re not sure that you can ever forgive.
Let me urge you again though that to hold onto that hurt and anger, is to keep yourself bound to that person that hurt you forever. If you forgive, you are not doing you perpetrator a favor, you are doing it for you, you are in fact cutting yourself loose so that you can live again.
Please take a moment today, tomorrow and every other day that you may need to come before God with this person that you can not yet forgive. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you forgive. God says that we should forgive as He forgives – it’s a supernatural thing!
I believe that it is not possible for you to forgive in your own flesh, but the Holy Spirit lives in you and I know He wants to help you forgive, so that you can be free from this stronghold in your life, forever.
PLEASE STOP! DON’T GO ANY FURTHER TODAY!
To get the most out of this course, please apply it to your life in the bite-size pieces that I recommend. Take AS LONG AS YOU NEED, but be sure to take at least ONE DAY.
DAY 3
Forgive yourself
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This week’s material might have left you with a lot of guilt and shame.
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There is something you can do about it:
You can repent from your sin before God and then accept his forgiveness and also FORGIVE YOURSELF
You can not help anyone, especially not yourself, by staying in this pit of guilt that the enemy built for you. Once you’ve repented of the things you’ve done wrong God says that he removes your sin so far away from Him as the East is from the West (Psalms 103:12).
If the enemy comes to you with guilt and shame, and he will try again believe me, then stand against his lies with the truth of God. You are no longer guilty, you don’t have to feel ashamed anymore. Christ has set you free and your heart and conscience is clean before God. It is a new day for you, you are free from yesterday’s guilt.
Remember the Word says in Romans 8:1 (NIV): Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
PLEASE STOP! DON’T GO ANY FURTHER TODAY!
To get the most out of this course, please apply it to your life in the bite-size pieces that I recommend. Take AS LONG AS YOU NEED, but be sure to take at least ONE DAY.
DAY 4
You can make a difference: You can change the future for your children
I’ve once heard it being said that it takes only ONE person to change the future: Will you be that person who changes the destiny of the generations after you?
- There is a very thin line between encouraging your kids to eat healthy, and making their weight a big issue – How do you do the right thing?
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According to experts in this field, the best thing you can do for your kids to prevent or help cure eating disorders is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE!
We obviously do ourselves a huge favor as well if we start to take care of our own bodies, in the same fashion that we take care of our kids’. It is a fact that most moms will take extremely good care to make sure that their children are healthy, eat healthy, rest enough, get enough exercise and drink enough water. Yet, we deprive ourselves of all these things. Little do we realize that the biggest gift we can give our children is to take good care of our own being, for we teach by example.
So, starting today, will you ask God to help you turn things around in your heart and mind:
What’s not okay for your children is not okay for you either
1. So if fad diets are not okay for your children, it should not be okay for you.
2. You and your kids should stay away from too much junk food
3. You and your children should stay away from too much media exposure
4. Neither you, nor your children should be focused on appearance and weight
5. Neither you, nor your children should feel deprived and have to sneak or hide food
6. Neither you, nor your children should ignore your body’s hunger and fullness signals
7. All of you should stop labeling food as good or bad
8. Nobody should feel ashamed about eating certain food
What’s good for your children is also good for you
1. Fun exercise should be part of family life for the WHOLE family
2. You need to laugh and have fun just as much as they do
3. You also need your naps and lots of sleep at night
4. You need healthy food like your children, without skipping meals or snacks
5. You should all have a not-so-healthy treat once in a while, without it being a big deal
6. You should compliment yourself as a person as much as you compliment your kids
7. Health, not weight, should be at the top of your list when making decisions for everybody, especially YOU
8. It’s okay for you and your children to admit that you like to eat and like certain food
9. It’s okay for all of you to listen to your body: eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full
10. Everybody should be able to be their own person and make their own mistakes, including you
11. Everybody should know that they are loved as a whole person, the good and the not so good parts.
PLEASE STOP! DON’T GO ANY FURTHER TODAY!
To get the most out of this course, please apply it to your life in the bite-size pieces that I recommend. Take AS LONG AS YOU NEED, but be sure to take at least ONE DAY.
DAY 5
Say good-bye to the “perfect” mother and “perfect” daughter
This is going to be fun. This is a license to let yourself and your mom off the hook.
It’s over! The lie that said that your mother has to be the perfect mother and you in turn have to be the perfect daughter is out in the open, exposed and proven to be just that, a lie.
How do you do that?
- Let go of all the expectations that you’ve had on how your mom should behave or act
- Let go of the high standards you’ve placed on her and yourself to be a perfect mother
- Accept the fact that your mom is just human
- Let go of the fantasy about a perfect mom-and-daughter relationship; there is no such thing
- Just relax and enjoy what you two have; that is reality
- Face the fact that she’s made some mistakes with you, and some of that could have played a part in your eating disorder
- Face the fact that she might make some more mistakes
- Then also face the fact that you might make similar mistakes with your kids and that it would not be the end of the world
- Be honest with yourself and your children about your own humanity and ask their forgiveness when you hurt them
- Stop trying to be the perfect daughter; it is unattainable and exhausting
- Stop feeling responsible for your mom, she is an adult, let her make her own decisions and bear her own consequences
- Tell your mom what your needs are and how much you can do for her
- Remember that forgiveness is the key that keeps families together, and God’s love can mend and heal any broken heart
Please remember to reach out for help if you feel overwhelmed, especially during these two weeks
I’ll see you next week when we talk about our Dads. You can do it, because you are not alone in this, you are safely in the hands of your Everlasting Father.
Scripture quotations are from the following versions with corresponding abbreviations:
AMP = THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE, EXPANDED EDITION.
Old Testament copyright © 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright © 1958, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Words in brackets [ ] and parentheses ( ) are those of The Amplified Bible translators, not the author.
NIV = NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION.
Copyright © 1973, 1978 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.
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