Bulimia Recovery: Only a myth?
By Heleen Woest
Do people really get totally free form bulimia, or is there only temporary treatment
available?
Let me tell you my story and it might give you a little hope to keep pressing on to freedom
and not give up hope.
I was trapped in this nightmare for many years of my life. The worst part, like
many of you, I didn't get a break from life to deal with this. No I was trapped in the midst of children, family
feuds, relationship challenges, work and running a household. I had to keep this monster hidden inside of me. I had
to smile while I screamed and cried on the inside.
Believe me if I tell you that I know about hating yourself for the purging and hating
everything associated with it. I know about promising myself every time that this is going to be the last
purge. I know about the strong relief after a binge, begging God to let it be the last time... just to do it all
over again. I also know about the fear of giving up this dangerous method of weight loss. The fear of spiraling out
of control, eating out of control, and gaining an enormous amount of weight...
The irony: Those fears are not irrational, they are in fact pretty legitimate for someone with
bulimia. When you stop purging the binging doesn't just go away. Binge eating disorder is an eating
disorder in itself. So in reality you are dealing with two eating disorders and you feel stuck somewhere in the
middle. If you can stop the binging then you will obviously stop purging. However, if you stop the purging, it
might keep you from binging because you will know that there's no way to erase what you just did (binge).
The reality for me, as for many other people suffering from bulimia, is that
binge eating disorder is what started it all. I felt for a very long
time in my life out of control around food. I've used food to medicate. Food suppressed pain, made me happy,
cured loneliness, gave my life color, helped me with stress. Food was always there. So there was no way that I
could stop this cycle at binging, because it went much deeper. I had to remove it layer by layer. I had to
interrupt the cycle at the purging so that the denial could stop. People with eating disorders and other
addictions deal with very thick denial. If you suffer from bulimia you most likely deny the fact that you are
out of control. Somewhere along the line I convinced myself that I found a perfect method of control. I first
used diet pills and later bulimia to "control" my binge eating. The fact was, it controlled me. I was a prisoner
of having to figure out when and where I can purge, how I can hide my binging and how I can keep my eating
disorder from others. People who suffer from eating disorders, even overeating or binge eating disorders can not
be truthful with themselves or others. This was the worst part for me: You loose God, relationships and
yourself!
So I had to find out where exactly to interrupt this cycle: I had to do it at the purging to open my eyes to the
reality and kick the denial. So my first step was to tell others about this monster inside me. To break the cycle
of purging you need support and you need people you trust to know the truth and to help you. Secondly you have to
start taking off the layers, looking at why you binge and how it happened that food became your first love, the one
you always turn to and the one thing you can not give up.
With God's help, the right treatment and asking for support, I walked away from bulimia and haven't looked back now
for many years.
When I was healed from bulimia, I still struggled with binge eating, but I wanted to help other ladies break away
from bulimia, while I was still searching for more answers. I started support groups for women with Eating
Disorders and facilitated these for many years. A few things became clear to me: Bulimia and other eating
disorders can never be cured with shear will-power. In fact, no amount of will-power can do it. Another important
thing: It's never just one thing. When it comes to eating disorders there is no silver bullet. You have to give
it some time, get some support and take the layers off one by one.
So after doing lots of research and observing and talking to many ladies who went through my
support groups I put a 12 Week Program together for women
struggling with food. This course is now also available online and it can help you get out of an eating
disorder for good. If you or someone you love is looking for a Bulimia Recovery
Program that can go the distance and deal with all the major issues, then you might want to have a look at my
program. It consists of 300 pages of research and testimonies including my own story as well as 100 videos to
encourage you to stay the course.
I have seen many women find healing through this course and I am humbled by the realization that God can use a
broken vessel like myself to help others find life again. You can also reach out to others once you find healing
for yourself.
I never seize to be amazed at the love, mercy and healing power of God that's available to us...
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