So I’m still busy with the never ending potty training… How did I do it with the other three? I know for sure they were not in diapers at age 3 anymore, and I’m sure it was much easier…or was I just younger…can’t remember…
Well today I did something AGAIN, that I always promise myself I will NEVER do: I used guilt and shame to hurry along the process. I know, shame on me! All the books on children (especially potty training) warns against the use of guilt and shame as a way to motivate, simply because it doesn’t work, in fact it does the opposite…
Now you would think that after all these years and four kids later I would be the wiser, but no, it sort of just “spills out of me” when I reach a certain place. This place usually consist of a well blended mix of exhaustion, frustration, irritation and haywire hormones, add a pinch of prayerlesness and you have my personal recipe for disaster.
So afterward I did what I had to do: I confessed, made time to rest, made time to pray and tried again.
However, it always bothers me that these things keep coming out of the closet. Guilt and shame keeps popping up, not so much towards my kids as toward myself. I know it’s a useless feeling, and nothing good comes of it, but before I know it, I feel guilty about something I didn’t do or shameful about something I did. Like with my kids, it doesn’t motivate me either, it does the opposite, it makes me turn to food…
The same is true for unforgiveness and temptation actually. Just last week a friend shared with me how she keeps forgiving, like one would keeps resisting temptation, every time the enemy brings up old grudges. This is so true for all of us. It only takes a certain smell, a certain picture or a old song to put me right back into a past place of pain. If I nurture this for a mere second, I can start digging up old ruins, dwell on past offenses or hurts and before you know it: Things I forgave and put behind me, bugs me again!
So I wrote this post, to remind you, and definitely remind myself that the enemy wants to hand us a few “gifts” every day. He stands ready, waiting for a loophole in our armor so he can dish out shame, guilt, unforgivenss, offense and temptation.
We will be wise to keep our armor on, stay close to our Mighty God, and be aware of the enemy’s tactics.
However, if you do have a day where all the odds are stacked against you, as happens quite often in the life of busy women and moms, then remember what my friend pointed out: We can simply choose to forgive that person AGAIN, resist that temptation AGAIN, and shake off that guilt and shame AGAIN.
And always remember…Today, freedom awaits you AGAIN!
Have a wonderful guilt-and-shame-free week dear sister
Love, Heleen